...controlled insanity

I've recently realized (for the umpteenth time) that what I lack most in life is focus and therefore, control. Artwise, I can do uncontrolled insanity; crazy-looking abstractions that I don't really pay attention to while I do them. Control is where the challenge lies. In fact, it's ridiculously hard for me. I can do coloring books and the like - that's kinda what I was doing for Damian (who realized that he didn't really have shit for me to do as of right now, rendering me 89% unemployed. but it's cool.). I'd look at a photo and paint solid blocks of color as they looked in it. Not hard - didn't even take that much concentration. It was good observational practice for me, but it wasn't the kind of focus that's really difficult for me. I need to be able think crazy or outside the box or whatever you wanna call it, and be able to control that energy and put onto a canvas in a controlled manner. Easier said than done.

Additionally, I just remembered that part of my reason for creating this blog was to become a better and more interesting writer. Then I realized that I could really be blogging all the things I put as my away messages. To save for posterity. Or something. Eh, who knows. Anyway, I'm gonna blog again now. It could possibly be slightly more interesting.